The 10 Donkey Commandments

by **Metlz** Wed Jul 23, 2008 1:04 am

This was written by poker author Matt Canei for eZine

1. Any hand containing a face card most definitely is the nuts, even though you don't know what "the nuts" means yet, you must certainly will have it. Yeah I know there's three all-ins and you have jack-deuce, call with confidence!

2. If there is one strength of being a complete donkey it is this: you will not and cannot be bluffed... EVER!

3. Flopping bottom pair definitely is the strongest hand at the table. Call down to the river when everyone else but you knows you're hopelessly defeated.

4. Even though you have nothing you continue to call bets hoping to get your card on the turn or river. As a matter fact, you call your opponents bet after the river to try to catch your card on the river... but it's too late and you can't figure out why your seven high didn't win.

5. Aces in the hole... No problem, just throw all your chips in the pot right there because you have the best hand in poker. But wait, there's 5 people to act before you and you just broadcasted to the entire table that you have Pocket Aces... But it doesn't matter because there's probably another idiot like you at the table that will call you with king-rag.

6. Two suited cards, you definitely have a shot at a straight here. Yes you still think five suited cards is called a straight but it doesn't matter because you're definitely going to hit it. Even with a rainbow flop you call any bet because god willing you will hit your "straight" on the river.

7. Ace-deuce off-suit is definitely a premium hand. Call any and every bet you face because even if you miss the board your ace-high is definitely superior.

8. Get excited and gitty any time you look down at King-Four offsuit under the gun. You don't know what under the gun means nor have any concept of table position but it doesn't matter because you have a FACE CARD!

9. Call all the way down with A-K even when you have nothing just because A-K is a good hand and you feel like you should win with it every time because its one of the few hands you know that you should raise with.

10. You have a flush or a gut-shot straight draw, this definitely is better than anything and a favorable situation for a donkey. Call all the way down and then if you miss and face a bet after the river just call anyway. Who knows, your straight or flush draw might be good. Right?