Irish Joke in honor of St. Patrick's Day!

[size=16][size=12]Two elderly Irish drinking buddies are sitting at
the pub
pondering on the future.

One says to the other, "You know
Mr. O'Shea, we've had great
sport together for many years. It just came to
mind that
should it be I who should happen to go first, it would mean
a
great deal to me if you would say a few kind words at me
grave."

The
other friend responds, "That I'll do, Mr.O'Donnel, that
I'll do. But should
it be I who should happen to go first,
for old times sake I'd be forever
grateful if you would pour
a bottle of fine Irish whiskey over me grave."


The friend responds, "That I'll do. That I'll do. But would
you mind
it so much if it should happen to pass through me
kidneys first?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------

There was this guy who was half Irish, half Scottish. He
wanted a drink, but
he couldn't bring himself to buy one!

__________________________________________________

The Irish daughter had not been to the house for over five
years. Upon her
return, her father cussed her; "Where have
you been all this time, you
ingrate! Why didn't you write
us; not even a line to let us know how you
were doing? Why
didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you

put your Mum through?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff...
Dad... I became
a prostitute..."

"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless
harlot! Sinner! You're
a disgrace to this family - I don't ever want to see
you
again!"

"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mum
this
fur coat, plus a savings account certificate for $50,000.
Daddy,
the spanking new convertible that's parked outside,
plus a lifetime
membership to the Country Club is for you.
(takes a breath) ... and I wanted
to invite all of you to
spend New Year's Eve at my new house..."


"Now, what was it you said you had become?" the father in-
terrupted.


Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff ... A prostitute, Dad...
Sniff,
sniff."

"Oh! Be Jesus! You scared me half to death, girl! I thought

you said "a Protestant". Come here and give your old man a
hug!"

LMFAO

Holy hell, that 3rd one freakin' killed me. Hilarious!

P.S. I've got to agree with the first joke; waste not, want not.

good ones dats, i'm an irish catholic and can relate to the third one. i must be a little slow because i'm not getting the second one. maybe you could break it down for me in chat, lol.