Online Poker Rooms
Some very funny Puns!
3 posters
Page 1 of 1
Some very funny Puns!
" ALL PUNS INTENDED "
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this
morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't
find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week... And pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says, "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open
foyer."
18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in
Spain, they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to
his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're
twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him...... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.
20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that
there was a small medium at large.
21. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this
morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't
find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week... And pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says, "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open
foyer."
18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in
Spain, they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to
his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're
twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him...... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by
halitosis.
20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that
there was a small medium at large.
21. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his
friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
NicolasWSOP- Member Rank: Quads
- Number of posts : 819
Registration date : 2009-05-09
Age : 31
Location : California
Re: Some very funny Puns!
nick, nick, where do you come up with the time to find all these puns? you need to get a night job... no pun intended.
slyone66- Member Rank: Boat
- Number of posts : 702
Registration date : 2008-09-19
Age : 58
Location : Massachusetts
Re: Some very funny Puns!
hahahaha Sly... I got them in an email.
NicolasWSOP- Member Rank: Quads
- Number of posts : 819
Registration date : 2009-05-09
Age : 31
Location : California
Re: Some very funny Puns!
lol
Funny
Some are just hit you later kinda things.
Now I'm LMAO.
Nice job Nicolas.
Funny
Some are just hit you later kinda things.
Now I'm LMAO.
Nice job Nicolas.
Roller- Member Rank: Boat
- Number of posts : 645
Registration date : 2009-07-10
Age : 59
Similar topics
» The 10 Donkey Commandments
» Poker Videos
» Hitler gets banned from online poker
» Funny video... great special effects
» Poker Videos
» Hitler gets banned from online poker
» Funny video... great special effects
Page 1 of 1
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:46 pm by datsme53
» Intertops Poker Announces A Gold Card Blowout!
Mon Jan 23, 2017 3:56 pm by datsme53
» Happy Birthday NotLikeMe!
Mon Jul 01, 2013 6:44 pm by datsme53
» Interops Poker Easter Egg Hunt! PLO Games Continue
Fri Mar 15, 2013 2:00 am by datsme53
» Full Tilt Poker News! DOJ Hires Claims Administrator!
Wed Mar 13, 2013 8:56 pm by datsme53
» Intertops PLO Weekend!
Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:34 pm by datsme53
» Lock Poker Having a 100 Seats to the $100k Freeroll!
Sun Jan 06, 2013 2:43 pm by jimbeam77
» Carbon, Aced Poker Maximus Freeroll Giveaway!
Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:44 pm by datsme53
» Juicy Stakes Poker Lucky 13 Series
Mon Dec 31, 2012 8:28 pm by datsme53