If cards could talk

If cards really chat what would they say? What type of mood would they be in would they be happy or sad: Happy that they get so much attention and so many people love them. (Not to mention their constant television time, which is a huge publicity booster). Or would the be sad of all the wear and tear of the constant abuse. Maybe sad that so many people had them so much, or sad they never reap the benifits of others success. So what would cards chat about, better yet what would your deck of cards say?

Well.... if my cards could talk.... they would say to me on pre-flop..

"Now just because you got pushed and me and my brother the K of clubs are here in your hand... doesn't mean you can go all in. You know that donkey on the button is gonna get a runner runner flush on you so just gently fold us down here now and save yourself the abuse you know is coming. You can't take those donk moves for much longer, so wait till you have something you can beat him with ... like 9,4 off! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh I'm on a roll brother... LMFAO!"

Yep, that's just what my cards would say to me now for sure lol!

That's easy. My cards they are very jealous. Probably say something like " Oh great his wife and kids are here. He want be paying attention to us now. Just let us sit here till time folds us and sits him out. Oh sure he'll come back and sit back down again, but you know he is getting back up again in 5 minutes if not before. If he lets the time bank run out one more time we are not going to let him any more hands tonight, and then we will set him up with pocket aces and laugh at him when he gets beat by 72 os. That will teach him. MUh HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!! "

Yup that's pretty much what my cards would say.

If my cards could speak I'm certain they would tell me to stop giving them friction burn (I'm always using one hand to put one card on top of the other).

If my cards could talk it would be a little something like this.

El Donko gently pulls up his cards slowly they reveal Queen of clubs Queen of spades

QQ "Hello.....there Donko do you think we are pretty"

Donko "Why yes fair ladies you are, but to be honest I'd rather have some Kings or Aces"

QQ "That's it we are leaving you for that set that just hit and we are telling everyone you have a PEZ COLLECTION!"